munsters | - RETROMIX + HEATMETAL

[to be fair, Billy wasn't looking. still, he is now. sort of. for once, Billy thinks it might be fine to have someone who knows him. like the world won't cave in, or he won't crumble under it.

it feels good to have Eddie say same, feels good to mean it. ]

Not before we work on those arms.

Yeah, yeah, you'll make a regular He-Man out of me yet.

[ but its not the worst idea in the world. maybe he would've been able to hold out a little longer if he hadn't spent the last several years trying to weasel out of gym class. ]

So. Pick your poison. I've got the real nerdy shit, and I've got some more mainstream garbage to ease you in.

Nah, give me the Judas Priest of literature. I'm a big boy.

[will it take him a month to read it? maybe so.]

Great. I'll bring it over along with my guitar next time we hang. [ he can trust billy to read it, he's not sure he can trust steve. ]

[it's the boredom, eddie. that's the motivator. ]

Don't I feel spoiled. [he does, a little. ] You staying for whatever take out I order or does his majesty have dinner plans?

Told 'em I'd be back late.

[ he brandishes the alliance credit card, holding it out. ]

Unlimited funds, for little old me?

[yank!]

What’s the mood? This app shit has everything at least three times over.

Fried chicken sounds pretty good.

Here’s hoping southern cooking still hits the spot.

[give him a sec - moment of rummaging down the sofa crevices for his phone. there’s a slew of notifications. some of them are Extremely Weird.

so just. ignoring that, for chicken. as it should be. this also takes a minute while he scrolls by a bunch of korean fried chicken places for something that screams AMERICAN MADE IN GREASE.

he orders a bucket. corn. gravy. cannot believe they do fake meat wings. ]

You want hot sauce?

On the side.

[ man people really want a piece of billy's bod. not that he can blame them. man was made to be a model. ]

Get me like 2 litres of coke.

Two li - fine.

[that’s gonna be a steve problem later!]

Says thirty minutes. I’ll try not to gnaw your arm off.

I can't afford to lose any more limbs, Hargrove, but if you have to eat anything then eat the other leg.

[he hands the card back first: then he stretches, throwing his phone back to the sofa-crevice void so that his arms can cross behind his head. ]

You look chewey, honestly. No offence.

[ sliding that back into his pocket, mouthing the word 'chewey' ]

Where, exactly?

You’re all skin dude. Like overdone steak.

[he will fix this.]

I did fairly recently lose about a quarter of my body weight and the monster bats who liberated it from me were definitely not complaining I was overdone.

They’re monsters, they don’t know how to be choosey.

[listen.]

You’re just real damn noodly is all I’m saying.

[ shoving at him lightly. ]

Alright, alright, I get it. We'll go get me the perfect gym bod and clink our protein shakes together or whatever the hell you eat to stay that size.

The commitment is music to my ears. I’ll have you throwing cars at monsters in no time.

[results may vary etc.]

- Shit that reminds me. The flying cars? [he can’t drive that]

Edited 2022-07-28 04:06 (UTC)

[ ohhh right. right. ]

Yeah, they're all over that city in Washington right?

Yeah. Yeah. I just want a normal car again.

[He breathes out. Tries not to get emotional thinking about his poor baby, lying totalled in some Indiana scrap heap.] Maybe a bike.

[A beat. ] Fuck it. Both?

If you're making that sweet ass porn money, why the hell not?

[ but also: don't trust edward munson with money. ]

It isn't porn, it's adult entertainment. I haven't jacked off yet.

[Like he has standards. He does. He's charging extra for - ]

[ eddie snorts. ]

Got it. You're just providing premium spank bank material.

[His tongue is waggling. ]

Exactly. I'm high class. I've got dignity.

(no subject)

heatmetal - 2022-07-28 12:20 (UTC) - Expand