he dies, wakes up in the future, starts dating steve harrington and rolls in to billy hargrove naked and stretched out on his bed like some glorious greecian statue.
his brain takes a second to reboot. then in a hushed whisper he's turning around to face steve, his eyes wide and face flushed. ]
I swear on Dustin's mother, this isn't what it looks like.
[There is a soft murmur; a weak little sound before he rolls his head and slings his arm over his eyes, croaking:] Shut the fuck up.
[So much chatter, it is Disrespectful.
His mouth feels dry, and there’s that tongue again, wetting his chapped lips before he also slurs, a little sleep loopy:] If I fucked Munson he wouldnt’ve managed to walk back to you.
[ jesus CHRIST eddie says under his breath, turning back around to face the naked man splayed out on his bed. and then back around to steve. not sure where the fuck to look. this is a new problem. ]
Bold of you to think I'd let you pitch, Hargrove. [ okay we're cool. this is cool. shit. ]
[ CLAPCLAPCLAP!! Steve strides into the room, flicks the corner of the bedsheet over Billy's modesty, and heads through the crap on the floor toward the curtains that he yanks open. ]
Rise and shine, the sun is up and so should you be!
Don’t threaten me with a good time, [he starts with, then hisses at the sound of Steve’s goddamn voice and hands. When he’s close enough, he yanks a free pillow and throws it directly at him.]
Shut up, shit. I carried you home, let me sleep - [the AUDACITY.]
I'll say thank you by buying you breakfast. Get up already, I had way more to drink than you and I'm a functional human being.
[ The sex burned a lot of that alcohol off as sweat, honestly. No need to share that. With nothing else to do, Steve starts picking up tshirts to toss into one pile, halfheartedly cleaning up. ]
I’m not hungover you shitheads, [which is true, mostly. All his aches come from that thing he sees every night - the dark wizard as Steve had put it. He’s not saying that, though.
Fuck it all though. He can’t stay here, so up he gets. He grabs a shirt from Steve’s pile, gives him a sweet middle finger before he strides by Eddie to the edge of the bathroom where his jeans are. Like he cares about what they see when he bends down go grip them up. Before he closes the door to take a leak, he turns to Eddie, expression not softer, but less of a jackass -] I owe you a joint, [and in he goes. ]
[ jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjesus christ. the door shuts and eddie blinks in confusion, both hands coming up to run through his sleep tangled curls. ]
[ Steve gave a man a blowjob this morning. Steve is prepared for gay shit to be flung his way. Steve is a modern man, okay? Okay.
Damn, those abs.
He looks away quickly when Billy gets up although a sharp glance clocks the way he murmurs to Eddie. Hmm. Clearing his throat, he shoots Eddie a look brimming with scrutiny. ]
[He takes his time, slogs through it all. He splashes cold water on his face, rinses his mouth out with something that smells minty. He finger combs his still slightly damp curls, twisting them until they bounce.
He’s looked worse. There’s some dark bruising under his eyes when the light is low, and if blinks too fast he thinks he sees black veins on his face. This is just his mornings, though.
He sprays himself, hauls on Eddie’s shirt and steps into his jeans, coming out as he’s pulling up the zipper, then rearranging his belt. His shoes are - right, behind Eddie. God, he needs coffee.]
Harrington is my phone over there? [ He vaguely remembers planning to take snaps for his sidehustle -]
[ he catches the look, throwing back a WHAT ?? of his own, gesturing towards himself and the bathroom door in confusion. you think?? he planned this?? wasn't he just coming on to you last night???? oh and then the door is opening and he's straightening up, sliding out of the way so billy can get his shoes.
and that's his shirt. does he... comment on it... no, no, let's just let it slide. yeah, yep. ]
The diner down the street has the best breakfasts. [ just going to look at his fucking phone right now, thanks and start talking. ] It's a total hole in the wall so it'll be empty as hell this hour.
That? Oh, that, uhhh... iiiiiiis [ Eddie creeps closer, reaching out to pull it from Steve's hands before he actually provides an answer lest it be sent flying through the window. ] my tibia?
Munson you absolute freak - [That is absolutely the gnarliest shit he has ever seen and he is absolute tickled by it, slipping on his shoes and coming closer to examine it - well.
Close enough. It's a human bone, it's not his, but it is right there, decently preserved and he supposes if hadn't eaten bleach for weeks, this would be a grosser experience. ] How the hell did you talk them into giving you your goddamn leg?
[Give him a minute to process that Eddie is standing on two legs right now -] Wait how the hell are you standing -
[ As Steve's hysteria builds to a frequency only dogs can hear, Eddie can only laugh. What did he expect? Munson is a freak after all. He bows to Billy's declaration like it's the highest praise.
Then swings the bone around like a baton and thunks it lightly against his left leg, moves to brace it against the bed so he can pull his pantleg up enough to show off the prosthetic.
It's just a standard prosthetic. More advanced than what they're accustomed to back in the 1980s, but not decked out to hell and back with cybernetics. Eddie's already started trying to make it feel more like his own, slapping stickers and paint all over the thing. ]
Told 'em I needed to say goodbye properly, y'know, lay it to rest, make peace with the fact that I was in pieces... but I'm thinking I might just find a way to put it in my next guitar.
God damn it, Eddie, I agreed to boners with you, not your bones!
[ Hands thoroughly cleaned, Steve steps out with the tissue roll wrapped around his hands and gestures to the human remains. It doesn't matter if it's been cleaned by the hospital, it's still gross to have laying around. ]
Give me that thing right the god damn hell now, it needs to be put somewhere sanitary! I am not playing around!
That is metal as shit - [Steve's hysterics are peripheral noise until he looks up, absolutely gleeful. ]
Lighten up Harrington, geez. It's not your bone - [Watch him grab Steve by the arm, ascending to the door. ] Anyway, I'm starving, forget the bone, let's go.
[ He shrugs off Billy's touch and picks up the bone, wrapping tissues around it as he rants under his breath about idiots and gruesome habits like ghouls in games. A drawer of clothes is tossed to the ground and Bone-y is deposited inside with a final slam, Steve giving a mutinous heavy huff. ]
Now we can go. I don't even want bacon anymore, thanks.
This is where he draws a line, fuck me. [The laughter, will it ever stop? Alas, it seems not. Billy will absolutely not be deterred from eggs and whatever else they have - he is first out the door, holding it open with a foot while he ushers them out, like this is a mild disagreement and not about human remains.
Billy is basically a kebab at this point, and Eddie's all mauled and bitten up. But the BONE!!]
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he dies, wakes up in the future, starts dating steve harrington and rolls in to billy hargrove naked and stretched out on his bed like some glorious greecian statue.
his brain takes a second to reboot. then in a hushed whisper he's turning around to face steve, his eyes wide and face flushed. ]
I swear on Dustin's mother, this isn't what it looks like.
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Because I really think you banged his brains out then left him a naked mess before coming home with me? Please.
We should close the door!
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[So much chatter, it is Disrespectful.
His mouth feels dry, and there’s that tongue again, wetting his chapped lips before he also slurs, a little sleep loopy:] If I fucked Munson he wouldnt’ve managed to walk back to you.
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Bold of you to think I'd let you pitch, Hargrove. [ okay we're cool. this is cool. shit. ]
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[ CLAPCLAPCLAP!! Steve strides into the room, flicks the corner of the bedsheet over Billy's modesty, and heads through the crap on the floor toward the curtains that he yanks open. ]
Rise and shine, the sun is up and so should you be!
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Shut up, shit. I carried you home, let me sleep - [the AUDACITY.]
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[ The sex burned a lot of that alcohol off as sweat, honestly. No need to share that. With nothing else to do, Steve starts picking up tshirts to toss into one pile, halfheartedly cleaning up. ]
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Fuck it all though. He can’t stay here, so up he gets. He grabs a shirt from Steve’s pile, gives him a sweet middle finger before he strides by Eddie to the edge of the bathroom where his jeans are. Like he cares about what they see when he bends down go grip them up. Before he closes the door to take a leak, he turns to Eddie, expression not softer, but less of a jackass -] I owe you a joint, [and in he goes. ]
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Ooooooookay.
[ a joint is fine. this is fine. ]
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Damn, those abs.
He looks away quickly when Billy gets up although a sharp glance clocks the way he murmurs to Eddie. Hmm. Clearing his throat, he shoots Eddie a look brimming with scrutiny. ]
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He’s looked worse. There’s some dark bruising under his eyes when the light is low, and if blinks too fast he thinks he sees black veins on his face. This is just his mornings, though.
He sprays himself, hauls on Eddie’s shirt and steps into his jeans, coming out as he’s pulling up the zipper, then rearranging his belt. His shoes are - right, behind Eddie. God, he needs coffee.]
Harrington is my phone over there? [ He vaguely remembers planning to take snaps for his sidehustle -]
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and that's his shirt. does he... comment on it... no, no, let's just let it slide. yeah, yep. ]
The diner down the street has the best breakfasts. [ just going to look at his fucking phone right now, thanks and start talking. ] It's a total hole in the wall so it'll be empty as hell this hour.
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[ Rooting around for the missing phone, he pulls up a white stick from under some clothes, frowning. ]
What the hell is this, are you hoarding now?
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[He turns. He squints. Realisation dawns so quickly, pure delight, concern -]
Holy shit is that -
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That? Oh, that, uhhh... iiiiiiis [ Eddie creeps closer, reaching out to pull it from Steve's hands before he actually provides an answer lest it be sent flying through the window. ] my tibia?
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[ Hands flying in the air as he stumbles away from Eddie holding his own leg bone, Steve storms into the bathroom yelping the whole way. ]
You guys pull the stupidest shit! Who keeps their own leg?! Do you know how many germs are in human bones!
[ That is some aggressive hand-washing going on. ]
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Close enough. It's a human bone, it's not his, but it is right there, decently preserved and he supposes if hadn't eaten bleach for weeks, this would be a grosser experience. ] How the hell did you talk them into giving you your goddamn leg?
[Give him a minute to process that Eddie is standing on two legs right now -] Wait how the hell are you standing -
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[ As Steve's hysteria builds to a frequency only dogs can hear, Eddie can only laugh. What did he expect? Munson is a freak after all. He bows to Billy's declaration like it's the highest praise.
Then swings the bone around like a baton and thunks it lightly against his left leg, moves to brace it against the bed so he can pull his pantleg up enough to show off the prosthetic.
It's just a standard prosthetic. More advanced than what they're accustomed to back in the 1980s, but not decked out to hell and back with cybernetics. Eddie's already started trying to make it feel more like his own, slapping stickers and paint all over the thing. ]
Told 'em I needed to say goodbye properly, y'know, lay it to rest, make peace with the fact that I was in pieces... but I'm thinking I might just find a way to put it in my next guitar.
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[ Hands thoroughly cleaned, Steve steps out with the tissue roll wrapped around his hands and gestures to the human remains. It doesn't matter if it's been cleaned by the hospital, it's still gross to have laying around. ]
Give me that thing right the god damn hell now, it needs to be put somewhere sanitary! I am not playing around!
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Lighten up Harrington, geez. It's not your bone - [Watch him grab Steve by the arm, ascending to the door. ] Anyway, I'm starving, forget the bone, let's go.
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It's been in here the whole time, not hurting anybody, it can lay around a little while longer.
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[ He shrugs off Billy's touch and picks up the bone, wrapping tissues around it as he rants under his breath about idiots and gruesome habits like ghouls in games. A drawer of clothes is tossed to the ground and Bone-y is deposited inside with a final slam, Steve giving a mutinous heavy huff. ]
Now we can go. I don't even want bacon anymore, thanks.
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Billy is basically a kebab at this point, and Eddie's all mauled and bitten up. But the BONE!!]
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[ it was also the hottest thing he ever saw. ]
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