[In some ways it feels like a relief to be seen. He’s spent so long stuffing all his weaknesses down; all the things that made him warm and kind, the things his mother gave him all locked away. You can’t be hurt if you’re angry, except that had been a lie. Being hurt makes you angry, he guesses.
When he’s disentangled he feels colder. He feels a little wrecked, like he’s just committed a horrible sin, something so terrible that he’ll have no choice but to wrap his fingers around Eddie’s throat and squeeze until he cries too.
But Eddie zips his lip, and Billy’s face is damp, and he doesn’t want to hurt him. So he nods, gets and stumbles to the kitchen. Runs the cold tap and wets his face until the cold shock has soothed his face. Until he stops shaking. All he can say, really, is a soft, quiet:] Thanks.
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When he’s disentangled he feels colder. He feels a little wrecked, like he’s just committed a horrible sin, something so terrible that he’ll have no choice but to wrap his fingers around Eddie’s throat and squeeze until he cries too.
But Eddie zips his lip, and Billy’s face is damp, and he doesn’t want to hurt him. So he nods, gets and stumbles to the kitchen. Runs the cold tap and wets his face until the cold shock has soothed his face. Until he stops shaking. All he can say, really, is a soft, quiet:] Thanks.
[He can’t bear to turn around though. ]