[His knuckles rap against his teeth. He thinks his fist might be shaking; thinks he might be too high to keep his shit together.
He wants to laugh. Wants to be mean, suddenly, because it’s not the same. It’s not. ]
You don’t fucking get it. He used me. He was riding my body like a rental.
[He’s still looking away, eyes off somewhere in the kitchen and holding. His breath hitches. He doesn’t move Eddie’s hand. ] I almost killed those fucking kids. Me. Him. I don’t know where he started and I ended. [He could have. He wanted to. Giving in was so easy because he didn’t want to care. Didn’t want control of his own life.
He wishes, on his darkest days, that he’d at least got to Neil before the kid dragged him back to the surface. But that would have been too kind for that Thing. Now he laughs, a hot bubble of hysteria.] You know I vomit if I smell bleach? Do I go back to that? Guzzling that shit?
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He wants to laugh. Wants to be mean, suddenly, because it’s not the same. It’s not. ]
You don’t fucking get it. He used me. He was riding my body like a rental.
[He’s still looking away, eyes off somewhere in the kitchen and holding. His breath hitches. He doesn’t move Eddie’s hand. ] I almost killed those fucking kids. Me. Him. I don’t know where he started and I ended. [He could have. He wanted to. Giving in was so easy because he didn’t want to care. Didn’t want control of his own life.
He wishes, on his darkest days, that he’d at least got to Neil before the kid dragged him back to the surface. But that would have been too kind for that Thing. Now he laughs, a hot bubble of hysteria.] You know I vomit if I smell bleach? Do I go back to that? Guzzling that shit?